Well we had Oliver's first karate class tonight. All weekend I had been worried about it and hoping he would enjoy it and take to it right away. We talked about it all weekend and how proud we were of him and how much fun he would have, we even watched the dvd they give you, which was way over his head. He was excited to go and learn, but I could tell he was apprehensive( and yeah, he used that word) he kept asking, "what are they going to teach me?" But we all kept our fingers crossed.
All went well until they started the warm up in class. It was a complete meltdown. I was torn between feelings of anger and just feeling sorry for him. He wouldn't do the warm up moves with the assistant helping him or if Travis went out there with him, he just stood there and cried. It wasn't an outloud cry, but a sad, kinda scared tearful cry.
He came out and talked to me and just said he didn't want to do it and wanted to go home. I tried to explain we can't just leave and come back when we want to, we need to stay and finish the class even if he just watches from the side. He didn't want to, he wanted out of his uniform and to go home. So we did.
All evening we kept talking about quiting and what that means, but he still says he doesn't want to do it now or ever. I even tried to make him feel bad by saying that I have to call the instructor and tell him that Oliver is quiting. So now Oliver keeps telling me, " aren't you gonna call that guy?"
I guess I am disappointed a little, we thought it would be fun for him and he was so excited about it. But more because I let fear and embarrassment make me quit things growing up. There are many things I look back on and wonder "what if" I didn't quit, what if I got over my fears of looking like a fool or wondering what everyone thought. I don't want Oliver to live his life like that, even though he is only 4, I see similar traits in him. I pray God will give me the wisdom to help him overcome this stumbling block to live a life without regrets.
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2 comments:
What a cute story mommy. I'm sure you handled Oliver perfectly. Maybe in a year or so he'll be emotionally ready for Karate. You yourself know how different siblings are. Remember God makes each of us unique and there are no molds of any of us. We are the only one like us. So give Oliver some breathing room and allow him to truly like or dislike things based on who God made him to be.
We are looking so forward to meeting Oliver and Thatchers little brother. We had an angelgram from heaven and Hudson said he wishes he could be with us but he'll just watch from heaven and see us when we get there. Love you dearly. mom
Ashley,
Take this for what it is worth?? When I was in elementary school, I loved being in gymnastics, and frankly, I was really good at it. I was so good in fact, they moved up to a competitive level while I was still really young. I had one bad experience with an instructor, and that was it.
I cried and cried, and told my mom I did not want to go back. I remember my mom going into the building to tell them that I was quiting. He tried to talk me into staying, but I just couldn't. I agreed to enroll in a different gymnastics academy. Even though I loved it, and enjoyed it while I was there, I creid EVERYDAY on the way to practice. Finally, my mom decided it was too hard on me, and she decided just not to enroll me the following session. It was the best decision that my mom made for me. Even though I probably would have been really good, it just wasn't worth it. I am thankful that my mom didn't push me, and just decided to let it go.
I had lots of other things that I got involved in and enjoyed. I wouldn't get to stressed about this experience with Oliver. He will find something that he eventually likes, and will blossom.
Being a mommy can be so hard sometimes can't it??? :) You are a good mommy Ashley!!
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